He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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