I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
