a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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