Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
