thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
