I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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