All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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