Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
