This girl is more easily done than said...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
