so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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