Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
