OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My vagina just recognized that song.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
