She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
