They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
40s are totally the cure
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
