Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
