My Higher Power is John Stamos
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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