I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
