Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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