very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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