He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
