Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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