She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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