whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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