Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
