I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
