Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
