Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
