Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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