sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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