What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
