I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
so much tequila, so little girl.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
