I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
