David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
