Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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