I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
