Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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