she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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