Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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