That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
