if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
