Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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