Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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