I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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