My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
