He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
