Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize