At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
