he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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