I think my vagina is haunted
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
