Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
