I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
