My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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