its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
