I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
