no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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