You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
