Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
